With all of this New Year, New You chatter, reach for the stars make 2020 your year! It is hard to take it all in when you are struggling. The New Year after divorce can be so difficult. Your first New Years alone… what do you do? This may be the first year you celebrate alone, as a single person. It may be the first where you don’t feel festive or celebratory. It may be the first year where you want to unleash and get wild. Whatever it may be, that’s OK. BUT, if you are more on the side of struggling and withdrawing, here are some great suggestions for how to make it through and come out the other side with a fuller heart and a little more power. 

 

  1. DO what YOU WANT to do. It is so easy to get roped  into stuff that you don’t actually want to do. Friends suggest you get out and YOLO, family suggests you come over for a quiet dinner, kids want to have a sleepover and a party. Whatever the case may be, DO YOU. It is so important to take care of yourself during this time, regardless of what others are suggesting you should do. 
  2. Plan ahead. A lot of the times, with the Holiday hustle bustle you forget to think ahead and pre plan for feelings. By doing this you can think about what you may be feeling and make the necessary plans or arrangements to deal with those feelings with the time and attention that they require. 
  3. Set goals. Create your vision. This is so IMPORTANT! The feelings and emotions that come along with this time of the year, especially the first year after divorce, can be so unmotivating. Where do you even start? Here is a step by step approach to starting to create you vision and your goals.
    1. Sit in a quote space with a notebook and visualize the best version of you. What do you look like, who is around you, where are you, what are you dressed like, what do you behave like, who loves you, who do you love back, how much money are you making (or not), how do you live how do you treat yourself and others, what kind of mother/father are you, what is your relationship like with the people you love, how do you behave so have those relationships, who are you in those relationships, what is your vibe, how do you take care of yourself… These are all examples of the details for your vision. Once you have your visions write it all down in your notebook. It can be in sentences or point form, whatever works for you.
    2. Break down that vision into 10 dreams. What 10 dreams need to come true for for that vision to be a reality? 
    3. From those 10 dreams and break them down into 1 goals. What can you do today to get started?  **If you would like to have more information about this, look into Rachel Hollis’ Start Today Journal. 
  4. Once you have your dreams and visions, create a vision board. This is a create way to spend time in silence, or listening to music while getting those creative juices flowing. The end result is a great visual that you can look at every day to remind yourself of where you are heading. 
  5. Create momentum just by starting. Starting can usually be the hardest part about all of this. Once you have your first goal, do whatever you need to do to just start. 

Hopefully these suggestions can help with the New Year, New You craze of the beginning of a new year, and new decade.